I'm afraid

I�m afraid of oncoming trains and that feeling
right before a train approaches and the wind is all around you,
when you have no choice but to submit to the surge.

I�m afraid of death, but not like normal death.
I died in a dream and floated above myself
as an amorphous gas. It was strange and terrifying.

I�m afraid of heights, when you are forced
to see just how big everything is around you
and how little it all has to do with you.

I�m afraid that I can only give love to people
I know will hurt me. If the right kind of love
came into my life, I wonder if I�d be able to accept it.

I�m afraid that if I told someone that I love them,
they would think it was stupid � like the Valentines� card
that just gets thrown away. I don�t want to be thrown away.

I�m afraid I wasn�t good enough for him, and that�s why
he didn�t love me anymore. Years of him telling me
that wasn�t the case haven�t put to rest this nagging idea.

I�m afraid of owning things, other than clothes.
The things you let into your life break or break you.
I�m still learning how to live with the things that are broken.

I�m afraid I attach too much self-worth to what other people
think of me. I hate that I always expect him not to call
and am surprised when he does.

I�m afraid I only see the worst in people
or that I expect too much out of them.
This is a metaphor for expecting too much of myself.

I�m afraid that my father and I will never get to a point
where being around him doesn�t make me want to cry
both for no reason and for every reason.

I�m afraid I can�t stop secretly wanting his approval,
no matter how much he hurts me.
I�m afraid this is a clich�.

I�m afraid that everything inside of me is unoriginal,
not worthy of saying out loud. Sometimes I don�t open my mouth
because I�m worried about what will come out if I do.

I�m afraid that I spend so much time trying to do
something that I�ll feel proud of when I�m older
that I forget to be happy right now, in the moment.

I�m afraid that my worry�s not worthy of sharing,
so when people ask me how I am, I say �fine�.
I wouldn�t be able to tell them what�s wrong.

I�m afraid that when people read this they�ll think
I�m another whiny, spoiled, self-conscious twenty-something
that just needs to lighten up and relax.

I worry that I haven�t even earned the right to be anxious,
because what do I even know about suffering?
This makes me want to cry, but I don�t remember how.

I�m afraid you didn�t read this or finish it,
or that it got lost in the shuffle of the billions of things
and that I gave away a part of myself for nothing.

I�m also afraid that you�ll know exactly how I feel, too,
because you feel these same things every day.
I�m afraid that I�m not alone.



From 25 things I'm afraid of by Nico Lang, Thought Catalog, 4 December 2012. Submitted by Angi Holden.

To do list, October 21, 1950

Be kind,
resourceful,
beautiful,
friendly,
have initiative,
have a sense of humour,
tell right from wrong,
make mistakes,
fall in love,
enjoy strawberries and cream,
make some one fall in love with you,
learn from experience,
use words properly,
be the subject of your own thought,
have as much diversity of behaviour as a man,
do something really new.



A list of activities that critics of mechanical information processing claim a machine could never by fundamental nature perform, from Computing Machinery and Intelligence by Alan Turing, published in the journal Mind, 1950, chapter 'Arguments from Various Disabilities'. Lines 11 and 14 changed to second person. Submitted by Daniel Galef.

Mosaic Mosaic

Don�t kill people.
Don�t marry two people.
Don�t act like a snake.
(Don�t be sneaky).



A child's list of how to do the right thing from The Most Hated Family in America, a Louis Theroux documentary about the Westboro Baptist Church, BBC 2007. Submitted by Daniel Galef.

Hell is a State of Mind

I am a man at home folding my wife�s delicates.
Outside, there�s a ruckus, as usual.

It begins with the flies. Noisy, black flies.
I do not know exactly when�

Most certainly stop in and say I heard this story
about a city of red fire growing from your head,

hooligans dressed in red and white everywhere,
a kingdom of messengers with no king.



Descriptions from the writing page of Submishmash, accessed 29 October 2015. Submitted by Howie Good.

A modern gentleman

Carries house guests� luggage to their rooms, breaks
a relationship face to face
has read ?Pride and Prejudice, demonstrates
that making love is neither a race
nor a competition. Never lets a door
slam in someone�s face, is unafraid
to speak the truth, arrives five minutes before,
possesses at least one dark suit, well-made.
Can undo a bra with one hand, has two
tricks to entertain children, can prepare
a bonfire, says his name when introduced,
cooks an omelette to die for. Knows that there
is always an exception to a rule;
avoids lilac socks, polishes his shoes.



From Revealed: The 39 steps to being a modern gentleman, The Telegraph, 28 October 2015. Submitted by Gabriel Smy.

Which Of These Fires From The Fire Catalogue Would You Like For Your Birthday?

(#3) the perpetual house-hold fire?
(#4) consecrated fire taken from the house-hold fire and placed in the east side?
(#7) powerful, mighty fire?
(#8) the fire that destroys?
(#9) the classical fire, belonging to the world of men?
(#10) the old or ancient fire, the fire pertaining to the stomach?
(#11) the entwining fire?
(#17) the calm, peaceful, serene fire?
(#20) the luminous, pure, brilliant fire?
(#21) the fire who is the priest?
(#22) the great, auspicious fire?
(#24) the fire consisting of wealth, or of good things?
(#26) the fire which is ethereal?
(#27) the conveyor of virtuous persons to heaven?

. . .the fire of time?
the fire of hunger?
the cold fire?

the fire of anger?


the fire of knowledge?



Fires conveying the sacrificial butter in Section VII of the Sabha Parva of Mahabharata, selected from Variants of Agni, Wikipedia, extracted 3 April 2015. Submitted by Maya Surya Pillay.

Road Atlas

Austin, Waco, West, San Antonio
Carlsbad, Aztec, Shiprock, Tucumcari
Laredo, Lubbock, Winnie, Amarillo
Cortez, Santa Fe, Vail, Mesa Verde
Dime Box, Bellville, Waxahatchie, Reno
Abilene, Dalhart, Nogales, Yuma
Houston, Dallas, Kayenta, El Paso
Mexican Hat, Show Low, Heber, Ozona
Jerome, Sedona, Grants, Truckee, Tahoe
Chinle, Tuba City, Prescott, Parker
San Jose, Monterrey, Palm Springs, Pueblo
Boulder, Tucson, Flagstaff, Port Arthur
Texas, New Mexico, and then Arizona
Colorado, Utah, on to California



Places in Texas, New Mexico, Arizona, Colorado, Utah, and California from the National Geographic Road Atlas 2001: USA, Canada, Mexico, Deluxe ed. (Mapquest.com, 2000). Submitted by James Brush.

Steven Seagal is a Good Man

Steven Seagal is A Good Man. Steven Seagal is A Dangerous Man.
Steven Seagal is The Patriot. Steven Seagal is The Foreigner. Steven Seagal is The Keeper.
Steven Seagal is Pistol Whipped. Steven Seagal is Submerged.
Steven Seagal is Submerged 2.
Steven Seagal is Out of Reach, Steven Seagal is Out for Justice, Steven Seagal is Out for a Kill.
(Out for Justice? Steven Seagal is a Mercenary for
Justice.)
(Out for a Kill? Steven Seagal is Driven to Kill.
Steven Seagal is Hard to Kill.)
Steven Seagal is The Glimmer Man. Steven Seagal is the Shadow Man.
Steven Seagal is A Dangerous Man. Steven Seagal is A Good Man.
Steven Seagal is My Giant.
Steven Seagal is A Good Man.



Titles of Steven Seagal films, as they appear on movie posters. Submitted by Daniel Galef.

Humiliation

Body collapsing in on itself
A bowed head
Shoulders curling over chest
Angling torso away from others
Uncontrollable shuddering or shivering
Hair hanging in face, hiding the eyes
A downward gaze
A flushed face
Hitching chest
Eyes dull, lifeless
Pulling down a shirt hem
Hands clutching at stomach
Covering face with hands
Bottom lip or chin trembling
Whimpering
Throat bobbing
Arms falling to sides, lifeless
Uncontrolled tears
Flinching from noise or from being touched
Huddling, crouching
Neck bending forward
Movement is slow, jerky
Knees locked tight together
Cold sweat
Stumbling, staggering
Backing up against a wall
Sliding into a corner
Hiding
Hands gripping elbows
Pigeon toes
Sobs trapped in throat
Drawing knees up to the body's core
Wrapping arms around self
Runny nose



From The Emotion Thesaurus: A Writer's Guide to Character Expression by Angela Ackerman and Becca Puglisi (2012), page 90. Submitted by J.R. Solonche.

Missed Connections

I get frustrated with things in my personal life sometimes,
especially her.
I�m missing consideration, and a loved feeling.
My life is being spent in a back seat to others
whom I always take care of with little reciprocation
and even less thanks.
I spend time fantasizing about the feeling of woman,
giving a damn,
and of the random,
uninitiated touch or smile.
Why must I work so, so hard
just to get so, so little?
All I want is someone's time and consideration
without the feeling that I owe them for it.




From Craigslist Miami, Missed Connections MfW, March 2014. Submitted by Dawn S. Davies.

Can I?

Write compound sentences
Use punctuation correctly in my writing
Plan a short story
Deduce information from a text and picture
Start sentences in a variety of ways
Use key events in a narrative to write a play script
Deduce information from a variety of sources
Use some compound and complex sentences to describe life in the workhouse
Extend my sentences using connectives
Use persuasive language to give my side of the argument
Use the language from a narrative text to create a poem
Understand a character�s point of view
Edit and improve my writing
Write a paragraph using connectives and a variety of sentence lengths
Use speech punctuation correctly in direct speech
Answer questions from a character�s point of view
Punctuate speech correctly
Use drama techniques to explore a character�s feelings
Use a range of more connectives to extend my sentences
Predict the next section of a story
Use the apostrophe correctly
Write a persuasive letter
Record speech
Plan a newspaper report
Write an informed letter
Write a diary entry
Create a non-chronological report
Answer questions from a report
Write a character description
Record speech correctly
Contract sentences
Write in the style of an author
Research an endangered animal
Recognise persuasive language
Write complex sentences
Create a slogan for my campaign
Collect research for a biography
Answer questions about someone�s life
Use punctuation
Write a letter to a pen-pal
Edit and improve my writing
Write compound and complex sentences
Write my thoughts and feelings about an event that has happened
Write a short diary entry
Use all the features of a dairy
Write an effective letter opener
Write a sports� commentary
Collect facts for a report
Generate questions for my report
Create a headline
Plan a newspaper report
Use punctuation correctly
Identify the features of an advert
Use persuasive language
Write a script
Research for a biography
Plan a biography
Understand the difference between direct and reported speech
Use direct speech in my writing
Use dashes in my writing
Use effective language to have an effect on the reader
Use complex sentences in my writing
Change the tense in various sentences
Group ideas into paragraphs

Can I?




From a 10-year-old's literacy exercise book, listing the learning objectives for one academic year.

12 Reasons You are my Ex

1. Exacerbate: to make worse
2. Exact: to call for and obtain (�exact revenge�)
3. Exaggerate: to overemphasize or overstate
4. Exalt: to glorify or intensify
5. Examine: to inspect, investigate, or scrutinize
6. Exasperate: to aggravate or enrage
7. Excavate: to remove or expose by digging or as if by digging
8. Exceed: to be greater than or to go beyond a limit or normal boundary
9. Except: to keep out or to object
10. Excerpt: to take out or select, especially writing, for other use
11. Exchange: to trade
12. Excise: to remove by cutting or as if by cutting




From 90 Verbs Starting with "Ex-", Daily Writing Tips. Submitted by Sean Wai Keung.

On the division of animals

More often than not, the linguist or anthropologist just throws up his hands and resorts to giving a list � a list that one would not be surprised to find in the writings of Borges.
George Lakoff

Those that belong to the Emperor,
embalmed ones,
those that are trained,
suckling pigs,
mermaids,
fabulous ones,
stray dogs,
those that are included in this classification,
those that tremble as if they were mad,
innumerable ones,
those drawn with a very fine camel�s hair brush,
others,
those that have just broken a flower vase,
those that resemble flies from a distance.




From 'Other Inquisitions' in which Borges writes of a strange way of classifying animals in an ancient Chinese encyclopaedia. Via Futility Closet. Submitted by Gabriel Smy.

How to Be a Bluesman

1
Never have a happy relationship.
If you do find yourself involved in a happy relationship,
kill your partner and then write a song about it.
If they arrest you, all the better.
You can now write a song about being in jail.

2
Chicago, St. Louis,
and Kansas City
are still the best places
to have the Blues.

Blues can take place
in New York City,
but not in Hawaii
or any place in Canada.

Hard times in Minneapolis
or Seattle is probably
just clinical depression.

3
No one will believe
it's the Blues
if you wear a suit �
unless, that is,
you slept in it.



Taken from a discussion on the Blindman's Blues Forum, 12th January 2010. Submitted by Howie Good.

Controlled Burn 1

We bite
When people have something to say

Every second counts

Wires
In tune
Like a record player
Screaming at a wall

Die, die my darling
Wayfarer

Die alone
Wide awake on Lake Street
Black heart broken

Sunbelt scars
Where are they now

Red Sky
Navigation point

Where we�re going we don�t need roads

Atlanta
Doormat

You�re all welcome



The first 20 songs shuffled by my iTunes in the Punk genre. Submitted by Ryan Falls.